Thursday, November 09, 2006

A tale of two Donalds

So as one Donald (Rumsfeld) leaves office, another Donald (Duke) seeks high office. One garbles his words, the other appears to have a mastery of language. One leaves with his legacy in tatters, as bodybags sellers do a brisk business in Baghdad and the Pentagon. The other, begins with an almost suspiciously untarnished reputation: a teacher's pet among Nigerian governors.

Donald Rumsfeld (pictured, right) has become a major scalp of the hiding the Republicans received in the US midterm elections. (Imagine the state of affairs when winning the Senate by one is seen as a landslide - thanks to I'll miss Rummy, but not for Abu Ghraib, Iraqi reconstruction, or extraordinary rendition, but for his way with words. His "known knowns" speech is singularly the greatest ever piece of political obfuscation, intended or otherwise:

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.
Journalists love this kind of politician, someone who brings light to their lives outside the drudgery of policy reports and select committee meetings. Which is another reason Bush and Prescott are so loved. Since we'll no longer hear Rumsfeldian wisdom from the Pentagon, I'll be visiting several websites to have my fill of, "The Wise Words of Donald Rumsfeld". Broadcasting House has a juicy archive built up over several shows, or I might even buy what is essentially "Donald Rumsfeld: the Opera", a collection of songs based on the "poetry of Rummy".

As for Donald Duke (pictured, right), he has blog (thanks to Jeremy and Chxta). I sense a Howard Dean style inspired diaspora intelligentsia support for him. Internet donations, the man to change the status quo, the how-can-he-lose candidate. This is Nigeria, of course he can lose. Firstly, he needs the support of the PDP gangsters to secure their nomination, an almost impossible task if he wishes to remain untainted. The PDP nomination will be an indication of where we are as a nation. Are we progressives, or retrogressives? Nominating General Babangida is a no-no, and I'll keep my exile promise if he becomes President.

People have already started to ask hard questions on his blog, most crucially - specifics. Politicians are emperors of the vague, seeking to govern on a solid platform of emptiness. It's solid, but there's nothing in it. Sometimes, along comes a politician with an idea, halleluyah. So let's hear about what Mr Duke has in store for Nigeria. I'm already excited about next year.


Anonymous said...

Have you and Jeremy (Naija Blog) been paid to promote this Donald Duke dude?

Nkem said...

I apologise profusely if it seems like a ringing endorsement. I'm only excitable because we have a different kind of person in the race - he's young for starters, and he already has his record as governor. The last time PDP had a presidential nominee race, it was between Ekwueme and OBJ, a race of tortoises. Now we have a rabbit, and one that appears smart. It makes the mix a lot sweeter. I pledge no allegiance.

Quest said...

shame on you for comparing duke to dean! his prospects are bad enough as it is. don't jinx him nkem! i'll be honest though, he is sorta like him. let's just hope the media/public don't crucify him like they did, dean. i still don't get what was so bad about the "victory howl"

@anon, its common sense really, you don't have to be paid by a politician for you to believe in him, or to agree with some random people online. compared to the other potbellied shits running for president past and present, duke is a breath of fresh air. that's why people who care are excited about him. now we'll just have to wait and see if nigerians will actually fight for something that is good for us, for once. I'd rather have two-faced donald duke two years from now, than two-faced odili or buhari. have you seen what he's done in his state? imagine what he could do with the country. plus, he is articulate and goodlooking (lol), imagine duke representing Nigeria at the white house, at the UN....can you just see how our reputation and national image would change? have you heard obasanjo speak to the public?? It is a sight unfit for the active mind. If nigerians pick someone good for them, we just might pull through this nasty decades-long slump.

on another note, no one here even knows how to register to vote. it says a lot about a country that the deadline is next month, and nobody i have talked to has any idea where we're supposed to register. how can we even choose something good for us when we don't know where the venue is??

Unknown said...

Awww, I'm sure Donald Rumsfeld loves you just as much as you seem to love him. Oh wait...!?