International Diplomacy for Dummies

No doubt you guys may have heard about Bush and Blair discussing international affairs, and the poor fellas didn't realise that a live microphone was picking up their words. The language with which Bush spoke about the Middle East crisis was fruity to say the least. One would have thought that both men were school prefects presiding over a petulant playground spat. The classic line is of course, "...to get Syria, to get Hizbullah to stop this shit and it's over." It almost equates to "tell Johnny to to tell Bobby to stop throwing stones, and no windows will be broken anymore." And "yo, Blair"? Is that Ali G underneath a Bush mask? International Diplomacy for Dummies:

Bush: Yo, Blair. How are you doing?

Blair: I'm just...

Bush: You're leaving?

Blair: No, no, no not yet. On this trade thingy ...[inaudible]

Bush: Yeah, I told that to the man.

Blair: Are you planning to say that here or not?

Bush: If you want me to.

Blair: Well, it's just that if the discussion arises ...

Bush: I just want some movement.

Blair: Yeah.

Bush: Yesterday we didn't see much movement.

Blair: No, no, it may be that it's not, it may be that it's impossible.

Bush: I am prepared to say it.

Blair: But it's just I think what we need to be an opposition...

Bush: Who is introducing the trade?

Blair: Angela [Merkel, the German chancellor].

Bush: Tell her to call 'em.

Blair: Yes.

Bush: Tell her to put him on, them on the spot. Thanks for [inaudible] it's awfully thoughtful of you.

Blair: It's a pleasure.

Bush: I know you picked it out yourself.

Blair: Oh, absolutely, in fact [inaudible].

Bush: What about Kofi? [inaudible] His attitude to ceasefire and everything else ... happens.

Blair: Yeah, no I think the [inaudible] is really difficult. We can't stop this unless you get this international business agreed.

Bush: Yeah.

Blair: I don't know what you guys have talked about, but as I say I am perfectly happy to try and see what the lie of the land is, but you need that done quickly because otherwise it will spiral.

Bush: I think Condi is going to go pretty soon.

Blair: But that's, that's, that's all that matters. But if you ... you see it will take some time to get that together.

Bush: Yeah, yeah.

Blair: But at least it gives people ...

Bush: It's a process, I agree. I told her your offer to ...

Blair: Well ... it's only if I mean ... you know. If she's got a ... or if she needs the ground prepared as it were ... Because obviously if she goes out, she's got to succeed, if it were, whereas I can go out and just talk.

Bush: You see, the ... thing is what they need to do is to get Syria, to get Hizbullah to stop doing this shit and it's over.

Blair: Syria.

Bush: Why?

Blair: Because I think this is all part of the same thing.

Bush: Yeah.

Blair: What does he think? He thinks if Lebanon turns out fine, if we get a solution in Israel and Palestine, Iraq goes in the right way ...

Bush: Yeah, yeah, he is sweet.

Blair: He is honey. And that's what the whole thing is about. It's the same with Iraq.

Bush: I felt like telling Kofi to call, to get on the phone to Assad and make something happen.

Blair: Yeah.

Bush: We are not blaming the Lebanese government.

Blair: Is this...? (at this point Blair taps the microphone in front of him and the sound is cut.)

Thanks to the Guardian for the transcript.