Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Years later

I was tagged ages ago by Naijablog, and I'm only just getting round to doing it. Yes, I am a slacker...

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE

  • Door-to-door salesman: My first job was trying to convince people in the north of England to switch their electricity and gas supplier to N-Power. This was in the middle of summer. It was commission only, needless to say I failed. Miserably. Quit after one week.
  • Concierge: This was the first job where I earned money, and did it up until early this year in between freelancing. Basically sitting at the lobby of luxury apartments around London. Famous people whose residences I’ve worked in – Lorraine Kelly, Rod Stewart, the boy wonder - Ruth Kelly, Eddie Jordan, to name a few. Addresses available for the right price. My most remarkable incident as a concierge though, was when I had someone sectioned. Yes, sectioned under the Mental Health Act. One to blog about someday.
  • Sales assistant: Pilot clothes store, where oddly enough I modelled the clothes… Debenhams, in the home department. And you wonder why I know what a “ramekin” is.
  • Journalist: For what felt like a long time, I was an aspiring journalist. But I think that’s changed now. Twas the blog what done it…

FOUR JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD

  • actor: I’m actually a fallen actor. After A-levels, I had my mind set on drama school. My mum said to get a fall back, after all 90% of actors are out of work at any given time. My dad said to get a basic level of education, which for a Nigerian father, is apparently a university degree. While at university, I got distracted by journalism. I might still venture that way.
  • producer/rapper: Maybe not rapping so much as before. I used to refer to myself as an international rapper, after all I had performed in Nigeria, Ghana, Togo, and Derby. Producer. You hear a track, and you wish you had produced it. If you want inspiration, go to itunes and download a track called “Warrant” by Bubba Sparxxx, produced by Timbaland.
  • mariachi: I have this vision in my head of being kidnapped while reporting a story. I ask my captors for a guitar, and we proceed to have Bob Marley jamming session, smoke weed, make love not war, and they let me go on my merry way. Think Michael Franti in “I know I’m not alone”.
  • Astronaut: I was obsessed with space as a kid, still am. Wanted to become an astronaut until I was about fifteen.
FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This is a difficult one, cos I tend to think of actors rather than films.
  • Schindler’s List: Liam Neeson and Spielberg, an unmatchable pair.
  • The Caine Mutiny: There’s something about films set at sea, the vastness of the water, the claustrophobia of the vessel.
  • Citizen Kane: Anything with Orson Welles, but this is the pick of the bunch.
  • Brighton Rock: About my beloved Brighton, and starring my former chancellor, Richard Attenborough (who I gave a bear hug at graduation)

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
Much like Jeremy who tagged me, I’ve lived in several L cities
  • Lagos
  • Lomé
  • Lancaster
  • London

With Brighton and Sunderland thrown in. I mention these last because apart from London, they’re all by the sea. I’d always lived less than half an hour from the sea until I moved to London.

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH

  • Frasier: I laugh at their snobbery, and then shudder when I seem to see myself in some of their snobbery.
  • Scrubs: madcap, well directed, well acted.
  • My Family: first series was dynamite, has struggled to recover.
  • Spooks: not afraid to ask the important questions of our time. Brave writing for a spy television drama series

Honourable mentions: Hustle I have to do a special politics/current affairs section:


FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELLED TO

  • India - Madras, now Chennai: Pastries and fruit markets in unbelievable abundance, a feast for the stomach and eyes.
  • Zaire, now DR Congo – Kinshasa: The Congo divides two potentially stunning cities, Brazzaville and Kinshasa. All I remember is that I’d never seen so many flies in my life.
  • France – Nantes: where I used to go on summer camp as a young ‘un. My first proper encounter with English girls, I’ll say no more.
  • US - San Francisco: the only city in the US I’d consider living in. Haven’t been called San Francisco flower child for nothing. Even ran away to San Fran (a blog for another day).

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS

  • plantain, with rice
  • plantain, with beans
  • plantain, with stew
  • plantain, with egg
FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
When it comes to food, my mum calls me a bush man, and rightly so.
  • I don’t eat combinations of fruit and dairy eg: yoghurt with bits in it
    or fruit and pastry, eg: bread and jam, or pastry and dairy, eg chocolate fingers.
  • Onions: I can deal with them, provided I don’t see them. Must be blended.
  • Mushrooms: Why would anyone eat fungi?
  • Cheese: tolerable on pizza, but it is after all rotten milk…

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW

  • Copella Apple Juice: I’ve run out.
  • Plantain: too lazy to make some.
  • Afang soup with pounded yam: It’s always waiting for me when I get back to Nigeria.
  • Chocolate sponge with custard: pure indulgence .

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM

  • DAB digital radio
  • African shirts: as you would expect – I think more than half my wardrobe is now African shirts…
  • Poster that came with the flat: says, “Théatre du Chat Noir” – Theatre of the Black Cat
  • Disposable camera: with undeveloped film from two years ago. They don’t call me king of procrastination for nothing.

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM

  • Lubricant: for those times when one’s desperate; to fix creaking doors :-)
  • Climate control: as opposed to cook or freeze radiator.
  • Surround sound system: to listen to The Roots and The Police.
  • Blinds which actually keep the lights out: for those days spent sleeping after night shifts.

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW

  • Marksy and Sparksy boxers.
  • Some facial hair.
  • Lots of proper hair on head.
  • And a bit of body hair.

ONE PLACE I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW

  • For some weird reason, I’d like to be in Iceland. I wish I knew why.

ONE FICTIONAL PLACE I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW

  • Fraggle Rock.

FOUR PEOPLE YOU’D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH

  • Jesus Christ: Where's your arm Lord? On my plate? The pastor did say it was your body, but I didn't think it would literally be...
  • Scarlett Johansson: I’m only having dinner with you for your “mind”. Don’t get any ideas missy.
  • Yar’Adua and Goodluck: So, how many people did you bribe?
  • Osama bin Laden: Mr bin Laden, I brought you a peace pipe, wanna smoke?

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW

  • I really should get to bed, it’s 6am
  • Did it really take me two months to do this?
  • I could do with some cereal
  • I hope people don’t read this and think I’m delirious. But I am. Except, I’m trying to hide it. And failing.

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS/PEOPLE

  • My mama: I’m a mama’s boy, unashamedly.
  • Lip balm: Can’t live without it.
  • Rooney: not that Rooney, the other one.
  • Plantain: has always been there for me.

FOUR PEOPLE YOU TAG

9 comments:

azuka said...

You're nuts!

April said...

Interesting...

I hope you do get round to blogging about when you had to have someone sectioned!

Elle said...

Nuts indeed!! but I like it.. one question though.... what would you do if you lived in a place with no plantain???

2plus2 said...

my gawd, lazy or what. innteresting read however.

everchange said...

Lol at probing Scarlett's mind!! Um...I already did this tag.

culturalmiscellany said...

No I think that selection of points represents you perfectly. You never cease to amaze me with what you've done!

Calabar Gal said...

Concierge in luxury apartments hmmn? You got to look closer - Afang soup is available here in UK if you search in the right places.

Fred said...

Of course you'd want to live in San Francisco! 'tall makes sense now, ;-)

Monef said...

finally done mine!